NETWORKING - HOW I MASTERED THE ART OF SMALL TALK AND YOU CAN TOO!

I have always been impressed with those who could make small talk easily. Normally, I am that person glued to the buffet table who mumbles something inane about the cheese dip and then botches my own name when introducing myself.

As a result, my approach has long been just to avoid situations in which small talk was needed. But since becoming an entrepreneur, I have learned that isn't possible. Networking is an essential way to meet people, make connections and learn new ideas. One of the things I struggle with in small talk is to know the right level of conversation for different situations. I tend to be a person who enjoys in-depth discussions on meaningful topics. This is largely inappropriate in the time-constrained and chaotic atmosphere of most networking venues.

Therefore I consciously divide my small-talk into three time-based groupings that get some form of friendly communication exchange going without requiring a heavy time or thought commitment on the part of either participant.

1) For brief encounters at the elevator, registration table, coat room, food line, restroom, or right before the speaker starts, I keep it brief and cheerful. The important point is to speak and be spoken to. It breaks the ice and makes you feel more relaxed. Friendly question-comments are preferable to actual questions that require a well thought-out response.

Quite a turnout tonight, isn't there?

People seem excited about the speaker!

What have you heard about the presentation?

Looks like it's going to be a good evening!

2) Pre-dinner mingling is the most challenging. Since people are wandering around, gathering in groups, it is harder to get included naturally in conversations. The best bet is to look for people like you, standing or sitting alone, looking a little lost. They are the ones who would most appreciate a conversation starter. It can be as simple as:

I don't know anyone here tonight- mind if I chat with you for a few minutes?

This is my first time here - can you clue me in to how it all works?

What brings you here tonight?

3) For conversation at the dinner table with a group of strangers, you can ask more meaningful, but still general questions. These require a little more time and thought to answer but that's okay as there is usually twenty to thirty minutes scheduled for dinner. It's important not to drill people or sound like an interviewer going around the table asking them in sequence. But working in a few should get a conversation going:

How did you hear about this event?

Tell me about your business?

What inspired you to go into that?

What's been the biggest surprise so far?

What's your biggest challenge?

The most important thing to remember is that you are not the only one to be feeling awkward. Almost 50% of people say they feel shy and uncomfortable in new social situations. Have confidence that the other people around you will be grateful to you for speaking up and getting the conversation started.